Uprootings and Other Changes

The spring is once again here, the days are stretching out longer and there is a little more warmth and a new, vibrant, buzzing energy starting to appear everywhere.

A buzz is going on also in between my ears, as it seems to happen every spring, I realized, now that I looked back to the archives of this blog, for example. Most often it has stayed as that. Buzz between my ears and words on the pages of WordPress. So to be honest, I am a bit hesitant to write anything about any of it this time. It might still just remain as a buzz.

But since I have no impulse control, I find myself blurting.

Well. I was not completely honest right there. You see, something has already happened, so this all can’t stay just a buzz anymore.

We are moving. For real. We have found an apartment closer to Brussels, with a completely tolerable commute to work for the both of us! To get this far has been a bit of a process. Waffle has long roots in Rupelmonde and the surrounding area, so it took quite some mulling over to get to the point of actually moving. Sure, we wont have such an area rich in wildlife right at our door step and yes, we are leaving behind a lot of memories but hopefully all of this will bring some improvement to the overall situation and life quality.

We have the keys at the end of this month, so we have plenty of time to go full KonMari and let go of everything we have gathered. Waffle has been living in the house for 10 years now, so you can imagine there is some accumulation. We are sincerely looking forward to moving, to gaining an hour of extra time every day. An hour less spent on the road, every day. Whoop! And we have been thinking to start going to work by bike,  and getting those killer butts everybody is always dreaming about!

The increased amount of free time is hopefully going to change our daily lives. I am  wishing to and looking forward to finally getting back to horses, back to the saddle! Maybe we’ll be running a bit more the both of us. And Waffle is looking forward to further developing his extensive knowledge of the computer things he does. I am afraid we will be having just extra time, but way, way too much time in our hands which is going to lead to more and more travel plans, plummeting us into bankruptcy and eventually forcing us out of the country and moving to the Azores. Is this the silver lining to every cloud, people keep talking about?

At the same time, I am having the regularly occurring existential crisis. This time it is rather loud and demanding. Partially it probably stems from the fact that I am turning 30 in less time than I would have hoped. And I have a nagging feeling that I should have achieved something in life by now. What that something might be, I do not have a clue.  Partially the roots of this crisis are on the work front. There is some turmoil going on internally. New hires etc. I have kind of promised myself, that once the result of this shifting is clear, it is time for me to figure out where to go.

Ever since I moved to Belgium I have kind of been floating, I left my roots behind me in Finland. Now we are just planning ahead trip by trip, but nothing much deeper than that, it has been quite enough until now. But slowly I have been developing a need to root down to something. Create a meaning for my existence. Possibly not the most unique set of feelings in the life of expats.

One reason to get these thoughts on the move is that lately we have met and surrounded ourselves by some inspiring, brave and curious souls. People who have been and are brave enough to live the life they want, no matter what the people around them think. They have given me some seed of thought.

Maybe work should be something more than just means of earning money. Maybe it would be important to feel that you are doing something meaningful. Maybe it would be good to actually enjoy the work you do and feel that you can be good in it. Maybe. What do you think? It puzzles me, that it took me so long to get this idea.

I might finally be brave enough to actually do something about this nagging feeling. Take and tackle those maybes and get going. Now the challenge is to fit some studying into the schedule, and take a step to the direction without ending up bankrupt and living in the Azores. Hopefully I’ll be able to put some more concrete plans on paper in the near future.

Oooh, what a cliff hanger!

Mediterranean

 

 

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A Cacophony in Dutch

elgiumOh, after the weekend my brain was a wreckage. I entered a complete zombiemode on Sunday and Monday came as a relief. It would at least bring some order to the cacophony.

Compared to normal, we had a surprisingly social weekend planned. There was some relaxed campfires and a couple of birthday parties to attend to. As on the go we needed to plan the whole trip to Romania, which is only a few moments away.

Well, it all started very nicely. We camped with our dear friends at one of the bivak zones they have here in Belgium. We chose the one in Stekene in Stropersbos, since it was the only one close by with no forecasted rain. There were a whole bunch of Dutch people too around the campfire. They were apparently hoping to get a glimpse of the lunar eclipse that was meant to happen that night. So we chatted over very very inappropriate topics, laughed from the bottoms of our bellies and completely missed the eclipse. partially thanks to the clouds, partially because we were afraid of someone turning into a werewolf. After a busy week of working and studying, we all went to bed at a respectable hour.

The bivak in Stropersbos is a very pleasant camping spot. It is a short walk away from a road and nicely in a middle of a nature preserve. They also heard semi wild Galloway cows and horses there. One of those ruminants were seeing us off, in the morning. Lovely, huge black beast.

On the Saturday morning we needed to get fast up and going. Waffle had finally hunted down the map for Retezat park in Romania and we needed to pick it up. From Ronse, a small town in the Flemish Ardennes.

Saturday had also a birthday party lined up for us. One of Waffles good old friends got older and a celebration was in order. This time without fireworks, oh thank the lord. We arrived into a garden filled with young families. Loads of laughter and noise. We were literally the only couple with no kids, nor any plans of having kids. The reality of those people was so far apart from ours it was even a little scary. Many of them were somehow expecting that me and Waffle would have also a very clear picture of our future, a five year plan on life, with a set of determined steps and all that. They were having difficult time in finding out, that we do not. I was feeling like a bit of an alien.

Well, it was a lot to take in, that evening. The conversations were all in Dutch, loud and quick. I was doing my best to understand even some parts of it all. Difficult! I could hear my brain popping while it was working and trying to find meanings to the words and understand the complete sentences. I was absolutely finished after the evening. And don’t get me wrong, the party was fun, with music, dancing and helium, the normal things, you know.

We returned to Waffle’s parent’s, where we had earlier brought our tent. We thought it would be a nice idea to sleep outdoors, since the weather was great. It felt heavenly to crawl into the sleeping back, snuggle with Waffle and fall asleep with the cool air of summer night tickling our noses.

But why on earth were we sleeping in a tent in Waffle’s parent’s field? Well, there was yet another birthday party. Waffle’s father had turned 70 and the children had bought him a grand gift of a safari in South-Africa! Waffle’s dad was so very happy, he couldn’t stop thanking people.

We had a lunch with grilled nibbles. All the children with their spouses and grand kids were there. I was again faced with a cacophony of Dutch.  The center for language in my brain over heated, packed its bags and walked out of my ear.

We finally got home to the sofa, I was hugging a pillow, restoring my capability to think.As our TV showed us something pointless.

Monday came, back to school I went, for the only day for this week. Tomorrow a doctor is going to go all wise and smart on my wrist and we’ll find out whether I’ll hike with or without cast. Wednesday we are off to Romania, Wheee!!

 

 

Happy Days of the Fading Summer

The time I can spend with the books at the river, its buoys and ducks and docs has been drastically reduced. It apparently is something that frequently happens around September. I am talking about the starting school season of course.

And so, I have too, returned to school. I decided to take the advancing course in Dutch and it is going on since the start of this week. There I have been, sitting in a class room of 22 students, instead of spending my time getting pleasantly bored by the side of the Scheldt. I am not complaining. I get to see my friends every day, meet new people and so forth.

It has been an interesting start for the course. Well, technically, I am having two courses, one for verbal communication and hearing exercises and the other one for reading and writing. There are only some of the people from the spring left and quite some new faces. I am struggling a bit with my packaged arm since I haven’t yet learned to write with my left. Plus I am not allowed to drive, so by bus I go and notes are made on a tablet, that Waffle has so generously allowed me to use.

These courses is moving a lot slower that the previous ones, which is as it should be, I was on the extra intensive one during the spring, and this is just the normal paced one. I have a lot of time to get bored. The teacher has the habit of asking a lot of input from us students. She wants to know out interests and the thing that make us very happy. And now we have to hold a diary over happiness causing things. It feels like we a bunch of clinically depressed people in therapy, not so much learning a language.

The teacher has made us to first think of the dates for the happiest moments in our lives (a lot of childbirths, wedding days etc. then there is this one idiot who mentions the date of getting her first horse…), and now we have a task of keeping a geluksdagboek ( lovely word isn’t it) which translates to happiness diary. So we have to write down three things each day, that make us happy. Which actually is rather nice, I don’t feel at all like being clinically depressed person in treatment, I feel like I have to find a pair of rose colored glasses to put on my nose and start searching all those tiny details, that make me happy. For me, that does not cause much trouble. I am a very joyous idiot.

Now I also have a very very great thing to be actually extremely happy about. Remember the pain and sweat I went through while writing and application letter in Finnish? Well, all that has payed off! I have a new job now, starting from October / November. I could not be happier! Although I do have a stomach bug and it is trying hard to get my mood down…

So, the three happy things from today:

1 I have a new job.

2 Waffle is almost home and we can start the weekend!

3 The foam in my bubble bath was extra firm this time.

Which are your daily happy things for today?