I want it all, I want it now!

Mediterranean

Mmh, you know, those days, when you want just about everything, and cannot wait for any of it for a second longer? There are those twenty different things you want to have, be, do, go, explore. But as there is only one of these moments, it is getting a bit crowded on the launching platform, and you are forced into cherry picking, which is what you do not want to be doing since “I want it all, I want it now!”

Feel familiar? I am having that kind of a period right now. I think it has something to do with the approaching spring, I have a sense of surviving the dark ages and the human inside me is emerging again.

What I am wanting now. Well, there is a list, in which some things rule out other things and I am terribly torn between all of that. The first one would be having a dog. A nice little fur ball, Jack Russell maybe. A small, but strong thing, with a huge personality. That kind of a fellow could come hiking with us too! A dog, yes, that is one of the easier ones.

After the dog, became another idea. It roots out of my current unhappiness at work. I have been searching solutions to the misery of the office life. The job search during Christmas time is awfully slow, and my unstable mind wants to find faster solutions. The old dream of entrepreneurship popped up again. What if I could cook for living? Bring Scandinavian kitchen to Belgium, whether the Belgians like it or not. Oh, that would be wonderful! No sitting in front of the computer screen all day every day, but flour, dough and spices flowing trough my fingers. That of course would require quite some money, time and energy, to start up a company. It would mean very limited income for the first years, which would mean a halt to traveling and many other hobbies. But the mini-entrepreneur-me is still sitting on my shoulder, yelling out her “what ifs”. Some number crunching is on going, thanks to her.

Further studies. Yes, that too. French is something I have to tackle for sure, sooner or later. No issue at all, since it wont take too much of my time. It would also improve my position on the labor market, and make the entrepreneurship a little bit easier. While searching for schools, I stumbled over some other courses too. And got an idea to go and get a masters degree in business economics. That would take me off of working life for a whole year, stop quite some travel planning and so forth. But it would only be a year and I probably would be offering me much better chances in working life.

The decision making starts to get very difficult!

I also want to go to Finland. Now. There is immense amount of snow, and just the perfect winter weather and everybody is posting thousands of pictures of pure white landscapes. That we’ll do for a weekend soon, since the plane tickets are not too expensive. One item off of the list, soon, almost!

My missing the life with horses has reached a tilting point. I have spent hours after hours browsing horse selling sites. I even came by a seemingly perfect Icelandic horse, that lives right around the corner from us. I think we need to go visit him… But then again. I would like a Finn horse above everything, just because they are the horses I understand the best and fell in love with in the first place. Phuh. Owning a horse then, that would eat a hole in the budget, a surprisingly small one, but still a hole. It would limit our freedom to travel too.  I find myself wondering if now is the time for that or should I wait? I am pretty sure, that I won’t be able to wait until we move to Finland. No no!

Writing this, made me realize that traveling indeed takes the highest priority in my life at this very moment. It is something I am not too eager to sacrifice. Especially as I know, that right now, it is the easiest period of doing as many trips as possible. The planning of the more distant future is a real pain in the aaaa. You know, I do not have a deadline. I do not have too good of an idea of all the places we need to travel to. So I have no clue at which point it is all gonna be done. That makes it difficult to calm down the greedy, horse and business and dog and farm wanting side of me. I cannot tell her, that wait for this amount of years and then I’ll satisfy you. No. That makes her anxious.

It is a difficult situation, with all this wanting, and all the unclear priorities. How is your spring starting? Am I alone with this super ball feeling of bouncing from one goal to the other?

Thanks a lot Queen! 

 

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Sink or Swim

So many of these learning experiences in my life are related to horses. This particular one, has to do with the very first steps of owning one of those magnificent animals.

I got her when I was 12. She was 12 too. I had 6 years of experiences about life among horses, mainly in riding schools and private stables. She had full 12 years of experience in being a horse. Here we can find a small disadvantage on my side.

I soon noticed, that owning a horse, it was very much a different deal than going to stables to learn to ride them. Owning one is much more, well, wholesome experience. In the very first steps becomes the realization, that a balance and leadership must be attained. This is the game of either sinking or swimming.

You swim, if you manage to win the trust and friendship of the horse. You swim, if the horse understands, that you are worthy of guiding and leading the pack of you two. You swim if you are firm and fair.

You sink, deep, if you are scared of the situation, scared of the half tonne animal, who is now sharing your life. You sink, if you are unfair, if your guidance leads to pain or fear. If you are unreliable, honesty is the key.

The narrow strip between victory and failure is sometimes narrow. It requires a fine balance. As a newbie horse owner, you make mistakes,  sometimes costly ones. You might let the horse push her own mind too far, tripping you down from the leaders position. No fun. You might lead her to a situation that causes her fear, too much pressure or pain. Gaining back the trust from there, is a hard and rocky road, one that has to be walked.

Sometimes you get it right, you reach the surface again and swim. You got her motivated into learning something new, find the excitement in her.  You find the way to get her into a relaxed and open minded position. Lead her to over come a fear. You are her friend and companion, at best. Those moments are wonderful. You find a flow, not just on your own, but you share it with her. You join with that horse, and work together. This is what gets you hooked into this sport, the beauty in those moments.

Yes, I am still missing her.

Thanks to the Prompt of the day: Sink or Swim

Exploring the neighborhood

I don’t know how common is the issue of not appreciating the immediate neighborhood where one happens to be living in. Me and Waffle have that issue often. We do explore around, but usually do not bother taking the camera with us, so the wonders of Rupelmonde and Oost-Vlaanderen are left undocumented.

This weekend we found our backbones and did take a dog and a camera and managed to come out alive with some photos. So here you go!

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Walking in the darkness. A birthday to celebrate.
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We encountered an adventurous gentleman. He happened to be a grab, far, far away from his home.
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“Could you please move? I have places to be, things to do.”
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A sound you say?
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Relaxed bunch of ladies.
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The company. They posed!
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Row after row.
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Greener set of rows!
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You need guidance with rows. 31.
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We met this very beautiful pony.
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Show-offy pony.
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She was very happy to share a few words with us. We became good friends. Going for coffee next Sunday maybe.
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Polite introductions are the basis for every friendship with fine ladies.
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Looter in the cornfield. No mice found.

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Straight lines.

That was surprisingly calm but rich weekend. You do not always need to go far to find beauty and wonder. Just step out of the door and take a different set of eyes with you.

This was us, finally saying the bitter sweet goodbyes to the summer, welcoming the crispness of autumn.