Maybe and her sisters

Oh, Waffle will hate me for this.

The word I have been working on to morph is maybe. That wonderful, flexible, versatile and sweet word. I can answer just about any question with the word “maybe”, in its different forms. Waffle does not like it. It makes him uncertain. It makes just about anyone doubt their existence.

Why am I so fond of that little word? The answer is simple.

I come from an area called Savo, in Finland. The dialect and culture of Savo has one very distinctive feature. That is, to never, ever say anything too directly. You need to think of a way to stroll around the subject a little while. Let’s take an example; somebody unsuspecting comes and innocently asks you how has the day been. As a person from Savo, you will never ever say it has been good, you have been doing great and things are just going the right way and all that. No.  You stop, sound out a long “Well…” and start mumbling something like “I think it could have possibly been worse, indeed, feels a bit like it might have been a good day!” In general one should add as much conditionals as possible into the answers.

You can understand, that simple conversations sometimes end up taking a lot of time. Sometimes people from outside of Savo struggle understanding whether the Savo person actually agreed or disagreed on the matter at hand. For example, I am asked to go to a movie, I reply; “Maybe we should go, yeah”, in Finnish “Voijaanhan tuota männäkkii”. I have the feeling of clearly stating yes, but the person asking is puzzled. This is my disability.

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You might be wondering what does all that have to do with a simple maybe. Well, that Savo communication of mine, it is usually done in Finnish, or the Savo dialect of Finnish. For me, it is a little bit difficult to bring all that into English, especially in the middle of conversation. So I unfortunately have to replace the complicated conditionals with the simple maybe. Maybe and all the different intonations of it. This makes my dear Waffle go crazy.

In our day to day life maybe now means:

  • Yes
  • No
  • OK
  • Might be possible yes, but I would rather see some other options
  • I would say yes, but your tone is irritating so I use maybe instead
  • Not today, tomorrow maybe
  • I am unable to make my mind and would prefer you doing that decision
  • You should know I don’t really like it but if you absolutely want to
  • You are right but I’m not admitting to it
  • Yes, I like it but I don’t dare to say it directly
  • Maybe

The list of my maybes goes on. You should now feel very sorry for Waffle, thank you Daily prompt about Morphing

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Finland got a reason to go crazy

There has been a weird force visiting Finland just yesterday.

A force, that makes us Finns, secluded, solitude seeking and quiet people, to rush to the streets, hug people we do not know. Scream and yell, shout and laugh. It rises some of us on top of bus stops. Drives the silliest to go for a swim in a fountain in the middle of winter. There has been cases of male nudity at -23 degrees Celsius.

There is a mass movement of something, that looks like absolute madness to an innocent bystander. This is not how a self respecting Finn acts. Not even if heavily boosted by alcohol.

For this kind of show, you need something stronger than liquid. You need a victory. The thing is, that yesterday and the day before, over half of Finland has been tightly sitting in front of their televisions. Staring, and supporting a group of young boys, chasing a black block on ice.

First it was against Swedish youngsters. Finns moved the black block around the Swedes so good, that they got it shoved into the bottom of a net many times. Many times enough to win!

That victory led those boys into another game. This time on the other end of the ice field, the Russias greatest teens were awaiting. The poor block was chased and beaten again, with nervewrecking intensity! There were 7 seconds to spare, and the nets on both ends had moved as many times! Poop! Popcorn and beer had ran out from most of the sofas in front of the tellies.

Then came the miracle! The block reached the net on the Russian end one last time and a whistle was blown. Whole mess on the ice! All the boys of Finland seemed to have lost it, completely! A whole mess on the streets! All the spectators seemed to have totally lost it! A party covering the whole Finland had started, no control over anything!

This happens every time we win. Usually only ice hockey has the power to flood the streets and make people insane. Especially if we win the Swedes or the Russians. So if you want to take part of the best party ever. Go to Finland when the ice hockey world cup of adults is in the finals!

Picture taken from Finhockey. 

Unexpected guests and a cake

The Daily Prompt this time describes just about the worst night mare a Finn could ever have, in Unexpected Guests.


 

The moment I saw them, just sitting there, munching on that cake. I was furious. It was my cake! For me to munch! In all my anger I went up to them, apologized that I bothered them, and went on to the living room sofa in order to go through the mail I had grabbed from the porch while coming in. Why didn’t the cake munchers pick it up? Huh?! Coming in like that, not bothering even to pick up the mail. Phah!

Mail was mainly rubbish and bills, as always, and the pile was quickly sorted. So I walked back to the dining room. Where a second piece of cake had appeared to the plates. My anger was all but going away. So I asked if either one of them wanted some coffee. Two very assertive nods followed, so I picked my espresso pan and started preparing coffee.

How dare they ask for coffee too!? Who are they? Why did they come to me, out of all people? My personal space and privacy was violated, brutally!

Coffee pot started to rattle and I killed the flame from under it and searched for cups. I asked if they wanted some sugar with the coffee. One nod followed. Maybe milk too? Another nod came from the other side of the table. How dare they demand such service?!

Cups clinked a little when I lay them on the table, and were received with contempt nodding and small smiles of gratitude.  I sat myself to the chair too, after fetching an extra cup of coffee. I pulled the cake plate towards me in a demonstrative manner, -surely they must now notice, that I was not pleased with such surprise guests!- and sliced a thick  piece for myself. There you have it! You invaders!

I heard a slurping sound. Someone was at least enjoying my coffee. And my cake! My cake it should have been. I had planned to spend quite some nice moments with it and my sofa and my TV. Someone was violating the very essence of my lazy afternoon!

“This is number three, right?” The other one asked. I nodded to confirm, and focused back to my cup.

The coffee ran out. I decided to save the cake, took it off the table and stowed it away into the fridge. There! That should teach them how to treat my  privacy! Cake eaters! I heard the coffee cups being dropped into the kitchen sink and someone was also wiping the table. My table! Friendly though it was.

I turned back to the dining table, only to find it empty and clean. No strangers around. From the hallway I heard the sound of a shutting door. Seems that the notorious coffee munchers had left. I hurried to the window, to look out to the street, and see which direction they were walking to. All I saw were two cats sitting on the fence, looking back.

Hmph, cats. I thought, and helped myself for another slice of cake.