I want it all, I want it now!

Mmh, you know, those days, when you want just about everything, and cannot wait for any of it for a second longer? There are those twenty different things you want to have, be, do, go, explore. But as there is only one of these moments, it is getting a bit crowded on the launching platform, and you are forced into cherry picking, which is what you do not want to be doing since “I want it all, I want it now!”

Feel familiar? I am having that kind of a period right now. I think it has something to do with the approaching spring, I have a sense of surviving the dark ages and the human inside me is emerging again.

What I am wanting now. Well, there is a list, in which some things rule out other things and I am terribly torn between all of that. The first one would be having a dog. A nice little fur ball, Jack Russell maybe. A small, but strong thing, with a huge personality. That kind of a fellow could come hiking with us too! A dog, yes, that is one of the easier ones.

After the dog, became another idea. It roots out of my current unhappiness at work. I have been searching solutions to the misery of the office life. The job search during Christmas time is awfully slow, and my unstable mind wants to find faster solutions. The old dream of entrepreneurship popped up again. What if I could cook for living? Bring Scandinavian kitchen to Belgium, whether the Belgians like it or not. Oh, that would be wonderful! No sitting in front of the computer screen all day every day, but flour, dough and spices flowing trough my fingers. That of course would require quite some money, time and energy, to start up a company. It would mean very limited income for the first years, which would mean a halt to traveling and many other hobbies. But the mini-entrepreneur-me is still sitting on my shoulder, yelling out her “what ifs”. Some number crunching is on going, thanks to her.

Further studies. Yes, that too. French is something I have to tackle for sure, sooner or later. No issue at all, since it wont take too much of my time. It would also improve my position on the labor market, and make the entrepreneurship a little bit easier. While searching for schools, I stumbled over some other courses too. And got an idea to go and get a masters degree in business economics. That would take me off of working life for a whole year, stop quite some travel planning and so forth. But it would only be a year and I probably would be offering me much better chances in working life.

The decision making starts to get very difficult!

I also want to go to Finland. Now. There is immense amount of snow, and just the perfect winter weather and everybody is posting thousands of pictures of pure white landscapes. That we’ll do for a weekend soon, since the plane tickets are not too expensive. One item off of the list, soon, almost!

My missing the life with horses has reached a tilting point. I have spent hours after hours browsing horse selling sites. I even came by a seemingly perfect Icelandic horse, that lives right around the corner from us. I think we need to go visit him… But then again. I would like a Finn horse above everything, just because they are the horses I understand the best and fell in love with in the first place. Phuh. Owning a horse then, that would eat a hole in the budget, a surprisingly small one, but still a hole. It would limit our freedom to travel too.  I find myself wondering if now is the time for that or should I wait? I am pretty sure, that I won’t be able to wait until we move to Finland. No no!

Writing this, made me realize that traveling indeed takes the highest priority in my life at this very moment. It is something I am not too eager to sacrifice. Especially as I know, that right now, it is the easiest period of doing as many trips as possible. The planning of the more distant future is a real pain in the aaaa. You know, I do not have a deadline. I do not have too good of an idea of all the places we need to travel to. So I have no clue at which point it is all gonna be done. That makes it difficult to calm down the greedy, horse and business and dog and farm wanting side of me. I cannot tell her, that wait for this amount of years and then I’ll satisfy you. No. That makes her anxious.

It is a difficult situation, with all this wanting, and all the unclear priorities. How is your spring starting? Am I alone with this super ball feeling of bouncing from one goal to the other?

Thanks a lot Queen! 



2 thoughts on “I want it all, I want it now!

  1. I feel you! I can’t wait to go and move to our farm in Portugal. But then again, a farm with animals comes with so many responsibilities, that would there be any chance of traveling? And yep, I know that taking this master’s degree will be a nice asset in the rather hopeless labor markets of Portugal, but at the same time I could go and work anywhere in the world. But what about having that farm then? 😀 Life is definitely not easy…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In some ways, I think people back in the day had it easy. You became what your parents had been, and the village you were born in, plus maybe the neighboring one, were the whole world. But yeah, maybe better not to go changing… 😀


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